I’m a big advocate of questioning everything, but when I say that, I think of questioning the big things: Religion, Politics, Ethics, Beliefs… but lately I’ve been questions something much bigger and more important then any of those. Myself. I’m turning away from questioning things outside of myself, especially the things I do not control, and asking myself, why do I think this, or feel that, or do something. And I have to tell you, to really, really find the truth in it, takes more courage then anything else in this world. I think even facing death can be easier then facing the real truths of our lives. Admitting that we hurt ourselves, that we hurt others, especially when its unintentional, and really uncovering the reasons why, that is courage. 

The human ego is complex, fragile, cunning, and complex. It can be challenging to see the absolute truth of ourselves and even harder to admit it, to admit that we cause our own pain and suffering and to admit that our own thoughts, actions, and words can cause others suffering. No one wants to be that, no one wants to admit it, and no one wants to own it. What kind of monster does it make us if it is true? What kind of person am I if the pain and suffering I feel, I am causing myself? Yet if it were not true, we would already be living in a world at peace. Look around you, and next time you react to something or someone, try looking deep within yourself first. The answer is always there, waiting for us to have the courage to admit, and the strength to love ourselves anyway. The path to peace is not in having compassion for others, but having compassion for ourselves. 

As children, we did not intend to become who we are, we were innocent products of a world we did not understand, that we were told to obey and conform to. But starting right now, we have the power to become an intentional being. We have the power to say yes, this is what I have become, and I now chose to be something different. I chose to accept new standards, I chose to speak, act, and think differently. I chose to let go of everything the world has told me to be, and I am now the person I chose to be. I now choose to live from my heart, to live a life that feels right, not one that looks right. I chose to act on what feels loving, not what feels comfortable. I find the courage to be the person I know God wants me to me, the person I want me to be, and I chose that way of living no matter what others think, say, or do to dissuade me. They only do so out of their own fear of having to look at themselves and own up to their own thoughts and actions. And thats OK, because I was there too. But no longer. I am creating a new vision of life for myself, not for anyone else, and all those who wish to follow me, follow your hearts first, and if it leads us down the same road, I’ll see you there, and we can share a tear and a laugh for the life we once lived.